Now, hang onto your stockings... it gets sad again. But don't be discouraged, dear reader. Read on... It all turns out okay in the end!
There are many lessons to learn along the way. I know because I have learned them. And in the end, it is a story of triumph and transformation, and we all like that!
It all began six months ago, when I had art hanging in a restaurant in Washington, DC and asked the owner if the restaurant would host a fundraising event for Project Create. He agreed to host the fundraiser in which the restaurant would give Project Create a percentage of dining sales on one specified day. We were promoting the event. Folks were making reservations. It was looking like a great success for all involved. And then the restaurant had to close suddenly, about two weeks before the event happened.
I was sad. I was disheartened. I was dismayed. But not for long...
"When life hands you lemons, make lemonade." And so the transformation of a bad situation began. I ran a virtual art sale through my Neshama Soulworks Studio Facebook page called "Lemons into Lemonade." I sold twelve pieces and took a portion of the sales proceeds and made a sizable contribution to Project Create. Everyone was happy!
Or so I thought. It turns out that I made a mistake with one image. I had continued working on the painting, "And They Danced...," and didn't realize that the image I had posted was no longer the way the painting looked. OOPS!
A friend, who I will affectionately refer to as the Artful Dodger, bought the painting based on the wrongfully posted image. I didn't realize it. I sent the painting off and made the donation to Project Create. I was thrilled that another friend was going to own a piece of my art.
The Artful Dodger received the art. The Artful Dodger was shocked, "Why had the painting been changed?" I was shocked: What was the Artful Dodger talking about??? I checked my records. Slowly it dawned on me... OOPS!
I explained to the Artful Dodger what had happened. I apologized profusely and emphatically. I offered to refund the payment. The Artful Dodger said to keep the money and we would work something out. The Artful Dodger said that they still wanted Project Create to get it's donation. I said that Project Create got it's donation regardless, and that I wanted to clear this matter up and make things right so we would not have this hanging over our heads.
The Artful Dodger said the painting was wrapped back up, in their living room, and ready to be shipped back to me. I wrote the refund check and put it in the mail. That was March 27, 2010. The painting never arrived and the check never got cashed.
In June, I followed up with the Artful Dodger. "No, I never received the check," said the Artful Dodger. So I called my bank and put a stop-payment order on the check. I confirmed my address with the Artful Dodger so they would put the painting in the mail. And I sent a new refund check.
Yes, dear reader, I know. I can be too nice and trusting. I should have told the Artful Dodger to return the painting and then I would send the check. Clearly I missed the signs from the Universe. Clearly I was thinking that I could trust my friend. Clearly I was mistaken.
The check was cashed on July 2, 2010! I know this because I recently got my bank statement in the mail and a photocopy of the cashed check is part of the statement.
I contacted the Artful Dodger immediately. I was sure it was an oversight and a mistake: That with the birth of the Artful Dodger's first grandchild, weddings to attend, and an on-going job search, the return of my painting got lost in the shuffle. Trusting still, I gave the Artful Dodger the benefit of the doubt.
No response. I sent a message the next day. No response. I sent a message a third day. No response. I could see that the Artful Dodger has been actively engaged in Facebook activities. I even tried to IM (instant message) the Artful Dodger. They ignored my request for a conversation. I called and left a message. No response.
I posted a status on my Facebook wall asking what other's would do in this situation. I received an outpouring of love and support! Some think I should expose the Artful Dodger. Some think I should sue. Some think I should take the high road and let it go. Some hoped that peer pressure would have shamed the Artful Dodger into returning my artwork.
As a psychotherapist, I teach my clients that we create our reality by what we think, say, and do. While we cannot control everything that happens in life, we can choose how we respond.
I choose to see the positives in this experience and learn the lessons from this teachable moment.
"Gratitude: It's an attitude worth having!" At first I felt swindled by the Artful Dodger. I felt violated; the Artful Dodger has clearly taken advantage of my generosity and friendship. Rather than holding it in, I sought help from others. With such a profound outpouring of support and love, I feel truly grateful.
I am no longer angry at the Artful Dodger. Clearly they are dodging my requests for the return of my painting. Clearly they need to keep a painting that they have stolen. Clearly they need help. I hope the Artful Dodger receives the help they need.
"Business is Business:" From now on, I will keep the business boundaries in place, and not allow the feelings of friendship to interfere with my better judgement. In order for a proper balance of energy to be exchanged, I will neither send work off until I have received payment in full, nor will I give a refund until I have the merchandise back in my possession. I know this is common sense... but sometimes common sense isn't very common.
And here we are at the end of the tale, for now. It's a bit of a paradox: What the Artful Dodger has done is wrong, AND I take full responsibility for my part in this woeful tale.
I can see every step along the way where I made the wrong turn. And if I ever find myself in some similar situation, I pray I enact my role differently. I can live with my mistakes. I hope the Artful Dodger can live with theirs.
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