A Response to the 'ART'ful Dodger

I have heard from the 'ART'ful Dodger. This was posted on my Facebook wall: 

"You have a right to be angry and frustrated. But thanks. I'm mortified that my life is unraveling before my eyes, and I see this posted to my dearest most treasured friends. I'm returning cans and bottles this morning. Hope it will be enough to send the art back to you and make things right. Yes, I suck and I'm embarrassed about my situation. Guess you felt the need to smear me for it. Shabbat Shalom."

I took it down, because I never had the intention of naming the 'ART'ful Dodger. I just want my artwork back. If the 'ART'ful Dodger had ever responded to my many private requests, I would never have taken this to a public forum.

The 'ART'ful Dodger also sent me a message on Facebook privately:

"I'm mortified that my life as I knew it is unraveling before my eyes, I hear your pleas for communication and feel terrible that I can't manage to talk with you, and then I see your post to my dearest, most treasured friends - and a blogging too. Thanks. Yes, I suck and I'm dreadfully embarrassed about my situation. Embarrassed enough to wait until I had it in the mail to tell you it was on its way. Guess you felt the need to smear me for my silence. Shabbat Shalom to me, eh? One more thing to add to the suck pile of my life. I can't make things right between us, but I think I can now manage to mail the painting back. You'll have a tracking number when I do."

Are you serious, 'ART'ful Dodger? Let's parse this out:


I am sorry you are embarrassed and "mortified that your life as you knew it is unraveling before your eyes." NOT MY FAULT! From the moment you cashed the refund check and did not send back the painting, YOU STOLE MY PAINTING!

How was I to know that you "heard my pleas." From where I sit, you chose repetitively to ignore my pleas! I could see that you were on Facebook, so I knew you saw my messages. I even IMed you on Facebook, and you didn't respond. I called and left messages on your voicemail. All these attempts on my part were done through private avenues. I did not want to "expose" you.

You chose not to respond to any of my messages or voicemails. You are the one who forced my hand. If you could have just told me whatever was going on right from the beginning, we probably could have worked something out.

My intention was never to "smear you for your silence." My intention was to get my painting back. I am calling you on your actions. You have chosen to do the wrong thing and you got caught. NOT MY FAULT!

You act like I should have understood why you were silent. I am a psychotherapist, not a psychic. From the time you cashed that check on July 2nd, you have stolen my painting. Still, if you had communicated with me at any point along the way, I am sure we could have worked something out. I could have sent friends to pick up the piece, or arranged for UPS or FedEx to pick up the piece. I wouldn't have liked it, but I would have graciously absorbed the extra costs. But not now.

At this point, I still don't know why you didn't send the painting, particularly after you received the refund check which included more than enough money for you to send the painting back to me. Remember, I sent the painting to you in the first place. I know how much shipping would cost, and I included almost double that to be sure you were more than covered. If you need to return bottles and cans, that's the result of your own action of not using the money I sent you to return my painting. You can blame me all you want, but it's NOT MY FAULT! It's the result of your own actions!

Since you chose to ignore all my requests and inquiries, I did feel the need to take this public. Yes, I began posting requests for assistance and support from my friends and colleagues. Yes, I did blog about my experience. This has been very upsetting for me. At every step along the way, I have considered your feelings and situation... That's why I started this process through private channels. That's why I was careful not to use your name in any of my postings. You are the one who actually named yourself when you posted the message on my Facebook wall (which I have removed.) I don't see where you've ever considered my side. You are not the victim here.

Yes, I did finally post a message on your wall asking you to return either the painting or the money. I  knew no other way to get through to you. I was hoping peer pressure might help, and it appears that it did.  If your friends think less of you, look in the mirror. You made choices. These are the consequences of your choices and actions.

With absolutely no communication from you, what did you really expect me to do? How long did you think I would stay silent? Do you really think I'm that much of a patsy that I would knowingly allow you to take advantage of my kindness and generosity that way.

Would you prefer I file a police report? I have enough evidence to do so.

I am sorry things are so tough for you. NOT MY FAULT! As someone who has watched your Facebook page, I can see that you have many wonderful things happening in your life. Please take time to count your blessings. You clearly have many.

As for me, I look forward to the return of my painting. Until I get it back, I will continue to consider it stolen.  At this point, I have no reason to believe that you really will send it back. You have told me that before.

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."